Too Lazy to be Lazy [Blog]

What’s the opposite of ambitious? Lazy, maybe. Unambitious I suppose. My spell-check hasn’t corrected it yet, so it’s a word. I’m feeling unambitious at the moment.

I’ve had a pretty set schedule for about a month now. Rise, take Stephanie to work, go to the gym, breakfast, write, lunch, work.

Things got a bit of a shake-up recently. Stephanie got a car and that’s really exciting. It’s a little beater from the nineties with lots of miles and character, an aquamarine Chrysler Town & Country (the blue car). Stephanie hasn’t decided to name her Lily or Fern yet, but she’s leaning towards Fern because it’s an old lady’s name and the more she drives it, the more it acts like an old lady.

Working our butts off has paid off, whether in the short term or the long term is to be determined. It seems like it’s in good shape, but it’s hard to tell with a car that old. Could last two years, could need a new transmission in a couple weeks. We’ll see.

This is definitely a positive. I don’t know if anyone out there has been a one car family between two people for an extended period of time, but it’s rough depending on your situation. We’re lucky enough to live in a house full of helpful and supportive people and we’re grateful to the fam for rides and stuff, but it was time to become a two-car family again. It’s a good thing, but… I’m too lazy to be left up to my own motivation.

I used to have to get up so Stephanie could get to work, not complaining, in fact, I loved it because it forced me to start my day. I know it’s only been a week, but with the option to get up and go or sleep in and rest, I’ve been prone to pick the latter. To risk sounding like a broken record: my job is exhausting.

It’s only been a week, I have to keep telling myself that because I feel like a lounging pile of garbage soaking in the rain. I’m getting there, I’m working out, getting fit, taking care of myself. It’s just one of those things. Since I’ve been gyming four days a week, if I only go twice a week I feel like I might as well fill up a bowl with Oreos, dump milk in there and scoop them out with a spoon. Almond milk, of course, just because I’m being dramatic with my metaphors doesn’t make me any less lactose intolerant.

It’s just a day. I’m just in a mood. I know.

Woke up, told myself to go to the gym, stared at my computer. I told myself I might as well relax and play some video games, but I ended up staring at the game in my steam library without actually clicking on it. There’s something to be said about lack of motivation on a level where you can’t even convince yourself to be lazy. I just… don’t want to do anything today. It took me an hour of winding myself up to even start this blog that’s about absolutely nothing.

I guess it’s just Friday, well, my Friday. Assuming there’s no mandatory overtime tomorrow, of course. It’s like the Dread Pirate Roberts saying, “I’ll most likely kill you in the morning,” every time I go to work on Thursdays.

I also stayed up far too late drinking wine and watching slice-of-life animes. Stephanie’s in Arizona on a family vacation and I tend to get a bit lethargic when she’s gone. Lethargic and insomniatic. That’s definitely not a word, but I guess it’s an Album by Aly & AJ, thank you Google.

I’m just so ready for my work week to be over, I think. That’s what I’ll attribute this strange mood too. Like, I want to stare at the wall until it’s tomorrow already. Just one more day, then I can be all sorts of lazy or productive tomorrow. At least then I won’t have a time limit and an eight-hour shift hanging over my head. I plan to get a lot of editing done this weekend to stave off the separation anxiety from my wife.

Until then… I should do something. Breakfast is smart. I got paid today, maybe I’ll go to the store and pick up the essentials and one of those black boxes of wine to replace what I drank last night (sorry Katie). It’s sunny outside, maybe I should embrace it and take the little out for a w-a-l-k instead of hissing every time it touches my flesh. The sunshine makes you feel like Superman out here if you embrace it. It pops out so rarely you feel like you have to go outside and absorb some of it to get your superpowers back.

Maybe that’s what I’m missing. I just need to get out and play an hour a day.

…

That or I could buy all three Bioshock games for fifteen bucks on steam and shut the blinds.

We’ll see where the afternoon takes me.

Thanks for reading guys, hope you have a wonderful day.